This is: Shanghaied in Tuscany!
Madrid (MAD) - Palma de Mallorca (PMI)
I didn't know quite what to expect as I boarded my first Spanair flight, but as I walked down the jetty I was keeping an open mind. That changed as I boarded the A320 to take my initially-allocated seat, 1A. As I went about stowing my bag, I remember taking in a few snippets of information: the seats looked shabby and the pitch seemed tight; there were nominally three or fours rows of Business Class, but the row behind me had three people sitting in it, which wasn't meant to happen; and directly behind me, in 2A, was a hyperactive child who had the tray table (attached to my seat, obviously) down and was using it to perform energetic drum rolls with his fists. My heart sank. I sat down, thinking "It'll pass", but as soon as the trickle of boarding passengers dried up, I moved across to empty 1F and breathed a huge sigh of relief. Sometimes I can begin to understand the phenomenon of air rage!
We pushed back five minutes ahead of schedule and, in contrast to my inbound flight, made it quickly to the runway. Initial service consisted of a limited selection of drinks. I asked for an apple juice and it was delivered along with a little bag of nuts and sultanas. When the cabin crew appeared again ten minutes later, I thought we might be offered something more substantial. It turned out to be a US Airways-style snack basket. I took a pack of Pringles, thinking that it might come in handy over the next couple of days. I then promptly fell asleep.
The seat belt signs came back on at 2020 and a glance out of the window confirmed that it was a case of Land Ahoy! We touched down at 2232, deployed a huge amount of reverse thrust, and made it onto stand within two minutes of landing.
All in all, one to forget. It didn't help that I'd been up for nearly 24 hours and that I'd originally been seated next to a badly behaved child, but that still left a shabby-looking plane, minimalist service and absolutely nothing that said 'Business Class experience'. (Thank heavens I hadn't paid for it!) Definitely a case of going from one end of the Star Alliance spectrum to the other!