Round The World and other travels

The flight didn't exactly get off to an auspicious start, and I'm not referring to the late departure :-

• Nobody welcomed me aboard the 757, let alone perform a final check on my boarding pass.

• No-one offered to hang my jacket.

• There were no pre-departure drinks in F. Instead, bottled water was distributed once boarding was complete.

To that little list must be added my distinct impression that the cabin interior was both old and not very well cleaned. If aircraft cabins were pieces of food on a supermarket shelf, this one wouldn't just have been past its sell-by date, it would have been making for the checkouts under its own power. I also noted that I was the only passenger in Row 1 with my feet on the floor (as opposed to parked half way up the bulkhead). This made me reflect on the old chicken and egg conundrum : was the cabin worn and dirty because people treated it with contempt, or does presenting people with something worn and dirty cause them to treat it with contempt? Perhaps both, leading to a never-ending spiral of decline. Can you tell I was not overly impressed so far?

Boarding took a considerable time and it was 2017 before we finally pushed back. The taxi wasn't too bad and we managed to get airborne by 2031. The Captain announced that the flight time was just over six hours. Our initial route would take us overhead Milwaukee, Minneapolis, Fargo and Regina - I couldn't remember the rest. The cabin service started with a round of drinks. I had Champagne, which was topped up on the cart's return. Just when I thought that the warmed nuts must have been dispensed with, they appeared. As my Champagne was topped up once more, there followed an episode of severe turbulence : so bad that the Captain ordered the flight attendants to stow all carts and take their seats.

Once things had settled down, the FAs handed out tablecloths, followed by hot towels. The meal service then started at the rear of the cabin, which almost inevitably meant that there was no choice left by the time they reached me. You might think I would have been annoyed at this, given my earlier negative impressions, but in fact I was happy to accept that somebody has to be last and this time it was me. (Come to think of it, though, both BA and CX would have seen to it that a oneworld Emerald got his first choice.) Anyway, my tray was presented with a salad (as a starter), my main course of mushroom ravioli with cheese sauce, and a glass of white wine. The salad and ravioli were both fine. Next, I was offered either ice cream or cheese and grapes and was happy that my choice (cheese & grapes) was available. The cheese offering included a remarkably Scottish-sounding 'Wee Brie' - the only thing was, it was more like Dairylea! I finished off with a mug of coffee. Incidentally, the cutlery was plastic. I don't know if this was through choice or if it was government-imposed.

Once the trays had been cleared away, I tried to get some sleep, but it was difficult. Apart from anything else, 2A had half his worldly possessions stuffed into the pocket on the back of my seat and I don't think five minutes ever passed without a rummage of some proportions. I was too tired to care, which is maybe just as well.

With about 3/4 of an hour to go, I had another mug of coffee and a cookie. We touched down at ANC at 2331 and made it onto stand by 2340. Somewhat to my shame, I was actually surprised when one of the FAs said a very pleasant goodbye.

Oh dear, I think this is the worst flight log I've ever written. There were all sorts of issues here, including whether the product was in any way appropriate for a 6hr sector, and the late departure and presumably rushed turnaround at ORD. If this flight was in any way typical, then I was sufficiently disappointed at this stage to be actually half-dreading my next flight. As we shall see, however, one flight does not necessarily a typical experience make ...