Round The World and other travels
A frequent flyer's collection of trip diaries
This is: Indian Ocean 2012
Flight Log 8: UL314
Colombo (CMB) - Kuala Lumpur (KUL)
As I climbed the steps 1.5hrs later than intended, and after having been held back at the gate while Economy passengers boarded first, I was pleased that we were at last getting underway. Things, I imagined, could only get better. A few seconds later, the situation actually took a further turn for the worse: I boarded to find a cabin already half-full with a motley selection of operational upgrades, including one already installed in my assigned seat (2A). The cabin crew insisted that he must move to 2D, but he refused regardless, indicating with a hand gesture that he and the woman in 2C were travelling together. What is it with some people? Not content with scoring what in theory at least is a fabulous upgrade, they then want to rearrange the cabin to suit themselves. It's like the large family groups who turn up at the airport at the last minute, without having pre-assigned seats or checked in online, and then expect other people to move so that they can sit together. I ended up taking 2D and I reflected that the airline itself was far from blameless in the matter: had it followed the usual practice of allowing premium passengers to board at their leisure, I would have been among the first to board and the situation would not have arisen - at least not in the same form.
I accepted a glass of orange juice from a
selection that also included water melon juice and plain water,
followed by a hot towel. The seat-stealer decided to visit the
washroom at this point and I was intrigued to see that he was
completely clueless about how to open the door. It made me wonder on
what basis these upgrades had been selected; apparently travelling
regularly had little to do with it. Meanwhile, either 3A or 3C was
burping loudly and repeatedly. Clearly this was destined to be a
real premium experience.
We pushed back at 0904 and were airborne nine
minutes later, having completed at least a third of the take-off run
before the cabin crew finished strapping themselves in. Oh joy!
As my IFE screen displayed the helpful message Software update
in progress, orders were taken for breakfast. This proved to be
yet another source of irritation: in a cabin half-filled with
last-minute upgrades, absolutely no effort was made to prioritise
genuine Business Class passengers who had paid for the privilege of
travelling up-front. I resisted the temptation to point this out,
but was ready to create merry hell had I been told that
unfortunately my selection was unavailable due to demand from other
passengers.
The meal started with a fresh fruit plate, some yoghurt and a cup of Ceylon tea, the yoghurt on this occasion being served in a china bowl rather than a pre-packaged plastic pot. I had omelette for the main course, but it proved to be disappointing compared to the similar dish that I'd eaten on my Malé - Colombo flight a few days previously. The only item on the plate imparting any significant sensation of taste was the little sausage. Part-way through the meal I decided to watch a movie, but couldn't get the remote control to work. I asked a flight attendant for assistance in case I was doing something stupid, but she agreed that it was inoperative. She did point out that the touch-screen functionality was OK, but this was of little use given that I was trapped behind my table and the screen was several feet away.
Once the meal had been cleared away, I decided to read instead and attempted to switch on my reading light. Have you guessed? It didn't work. I angled my book to try to catch some light from the windows in Row 3, which still had the shades raised. A passing cabin crew member spotted my predicament, tried to switch on my reading light for me and thereby confirmed that it was out of action. However she did point out that I also had one of those little spotlights sticking out from my headrest at the end of a flexible metallic tube.
In due course, the seat belt signs came on and a round of hot towels signalled that we were on the approach into Kuala Lumpur. A final glass of water was offered to passengers and I was surprised at this late stage in the flight to see that it was served in a proper glass. I was even more surprised when the crew chose this moment to spray the cabin with insecticide and I hastily covered the glass with my hand.
A few minutes later, seconds before the wheels touched the runway, I was treated to the distinctive beep-beep, beep-beep of somebody receiving a text message. By the time the aircraft turned off the runway and onto the taxiway, the cabin was a veritable cacophony of ringtones and text alerts. It seemed a fitting end to this dreadful flight. We parked up at 1512 local time, not a moment too soon as far as I was concerned.
In summary: despite the bright, modern appearance
of the cabin, so many things went wrong with this flight that it
ended up representing the only real low point of the trip (although
the cancellation of UL226 came close).
 |
| Date: Sat 02 Jun 2012 |
| Aircraft: Airbus A340-300 |
| Scheduled dep: 0735 |
| Actual departure: 0904 |
| Scheduled arrival: 1410 |
| Actual arrival: 1512 |
| Cabin: Business Class |
| Seat: 2D |
