Round The World and other travels
A frequent flyer's collection of trip diaries
This is: Bohemian Rhapsody (2014)
A (mostly) healthy day
Today was intended to be a relaxing full day at leisure in this attractive old spa town, with plenty of time to complete our explorations, a chance to partake of some spa therapy and the luxury of being in no particular rush to do anything. The day got off to an excellent start at the Quisisana Palace, with two friendly and helpful chefs available to cook our inclusive à la carte breakfasts. In due course we set off once again into the decidedly upmarket streets of Karlovy Vary, the colourful architecture looking better than ever, thanks to cloudless skies and strong sunshine.
 |
 |
| ABOVE: The morning sun brought the colourful buildings to life | |
First order of business was to retrace the previous day's route along the River Teplá to the Elizabeth Baths, where we hoped to make some bookings for later in the day. Although our hotel had an in-house spa that was almost certainly of a very high standard, it charged full international prices applicable to a hotel of this calibre. We agreed that it would be interesting to sample the much cheaper and hopefully authentic local product sought after by most visitors to the town.
 |
 |
| Elizabeth Baths |
I decided to limit myself to a simple massage and was soon fixed up. As part of the booking process I was asked "Gentle or firm?", and was on the point of expressing a preference for gentle and relaxing when the agent interrupted: "I am putting 'firm' - much better for man." Well, that'll be that, then - gulp! Bruce had more of a shopping list. He had to abandon the idea of a men's facial as these were already fully booked, but succeeded in ensuring that his massage would be preceded by a male-targeted delight listed as 'beery bath' - heavens above! We left the building afflicted with a touch of the giggles, inexplicably amused by the whole process, wondering what on earth we'd let ourselves in for, and with wallets now relieved of - well, hardly anything, really.
Instead of heading back the way we'd come, we veered off uphill into the area west of the Teplá, which was characterised by opulent mansions, with a common theme of towers, balconies, decorative features and bright colours.
| RIGHT: It was villas galore in the expensive-looking western side of town, where the architecture seemed colourful, whimsical and flamboyant. |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
| ABOVE: Descending from the hillside above Mill Colonnade | |
Two places of worship in this area gave an insight into the international nature of the clientele attracted by the resort: the Russian Orthodox Church of Sts Peter & Paul, and St Lucas' Anglican Church. Our stroll eventually brought us to a viewpoint above the Mill Colonnade, from where we had an easy descent back to familiar territory.
Heading back in the general direction of the hotel, we noticed that - as on the previous day - a number of visitors were carrying unusual drinking cups with spouts, from which they could 'take the waters'. (Apparently the spouts are to prevent discolouration of the teeth, caused by minerals in the water.) This was one aspect of the town's therapeutic offerings that we had both decided to leave alone. Apart from tasting rancid, the water was reputed to have the effect of speeding things up in the gastrointestinal tract - a possible consequence that both of us felt we could happily forego.
Our next objective was, perhaps surprisingly, listed as the TripAdvisor No 1 'thing to do' in Karlovy Vary. We were headed for the Diana Lookout, a hilltop viewpoint overlooking the resort and accessed via a small and rather lightweight-looking funicular railway, the ground station of which was situated just minutes from our hotel. We made our ascent to find that the hilltop destination had a marked out-of-season feel, but the views were reasonable and worth taking the trouble to see.
 |
LEFT: Lunch in the café of the Grand Hotel Pupp |
 |
 |
| RIGHT: The Diana funicular and lookout |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|||
| ABOVE: Afternoon, pre-treatment stroll | |||
The next obvious step was to have some lunch, and it seemed like a good time to sample the offerings of our exceptionally well-to-do neighbour, the Grand Hotel Pupp. Following a short rest back at the Quisisana Palace, I decided to accompany Bruce part of the way on his walk back to the Elizabeth Baths. The sun was shining and it was a perfect opportunity to grab a few more photos of this beautiful town.
Eventually, the time came for me to make my own way back to the baths, where I unexpectedly found Bruce sitting on a park bench outside, looking none the worse for his unconventional pre-massage ablutions. As we went inside and ventured beyond the main reception area, I realised that most of the building had all the ambience of an NHS hospital. We were directed to a locker room initially, and in good time our appointed masseuses appeared together in very business-like white coats and showed us to our separate treatment rooms, where mine pointed at the table and brusquely instructed: "Lie there! We start face up." Any anticipatory thoughts of low lighting, candles, scented oil and soothing New Age music were instantly extinguished. The massage was competent and I definitely felt physically better for it, but the overall experience was like a visit to the doctor, with no psychological side-effects to give a mental impression of relaxation and well-being. As the old saying goes, you get what you pay for.
 |
 |
 |
| ABOVE: Rounding off another great day - Hotel Dvořák, Pizzeria Capri (stock photo) and Grand Hotel Pupp | ||
Having spent the rest of the day notching up respectable health credits through walking, fresh air, sensible eating and a spa visit, we rather carelessly then blew the lot with our evening celebrations! Pre-dinner cocktails were in the familiar setting of the Hotel Dvořák, dinner was at the Pizzeria Capri and after-dinner drinks were in the grandiose, high-ceilinged surroundings of the 'Pupp'.
Wednesday was almost gone and we were now two destinations down. Astonishingly, given that the trip had already passed its halfway mark, there were still three to go.